MY Jesus MY Savior!!!
By Isabella London

Ever since I was little, I have gone to church every Sunday and Holy Day of Obligation, prayed the rosary, and been told that God is the most important thing in my life. But a year or two ago, I did not have the relationship with Jesus that I have now. I didn't really have a deep bond with him, I was just a girl who went to church with her family every week and did as she was told, usually without complaining. However, I did understand the teachings of the church and followed them. I just never really personally felt the beauty of them.

About two years ago, I got sick of just going to church every week. I mean, I knew that God was amazing and worthy of praise (blah, blah was what I thought of that)...but I just didn't feel it. I don't know how it happened, but somewhere in the mess of my confusion came a figure. It was dim, but if I prayed hard enough I could see it. I didn't know what it was, but I tried hard everyday to figure out what it meant. I started watching EWTN with my family, reading Catholic books, and working on my relationship with God. I still felt very lost and could still never pray without being confused and distracted by that thing that was in the distance. It was so weird. I didn't even feel like I was really praying. I felt so alone.

Then I joined the High School Youth Group and found out about the Steubenville Youth conference. My friends and I talked about it and decided that we wanted to go to see what it was like. Upon arriving at Steubenville University I was fully submerged in what I didn't really expect, but definitely wanted and needed---A LOT of teenagers being crazy about getting their praise on!!! There were hands up in the air, people crying, a lot of unnecessary jumping around and screaming, and then there was me. Until I was suddenly like, "Yeah-ok-this is cool. I wanna do this!" So I started jumping around with my friends Kelli and Alyssa, and we too were getting our praise on!!! At the end of that day, after long talks and meeting a whole lot of new people it was time for bed, so I walked to my dorm (that’s right, a college dorm room – which was not at all what I pictured one would look like, but we were so tired we all went to right to sleep). I never in a million years would have guessed what was going to happen the next night.

That next night, we all gathered for adoration and I had the most absolutely amazing experience of my life! Now I had never cried during a confession, or adoration, or anything but a whole lot more then that happened to me on that night.... It all started by getting a prayer buddy, which was person sitting right next to you (mine was Kelli Market), and praying with them. So Kelli and I started praying, then a deacon came up to the alter and started talking during adoration. THAT was what I needed. He was talking about not having a relationship with earthly fathers, not being close to Jesus, not understanding what your meaning in life is and so much more. It was like he was talking directly to me. I started balling my eyes out and couldn't stop. I felt Jesus. I was getting closer to Him. I was understanding where he was and realizing that I was just looking blindly in the wrong direction. While I bent my head in adoration looking in the right direction ... I saw it. I saw and understood what that figure in the distance was. It was coming straight for me. As it came closer I could make it out. It was Jesus, coming with His arms wide open to ME, and only ME! He was smiling at me and asking me to come to Him. I wanted to run to Him but He came to me as soon as I held my arms out in front of me in adoration. Him embraced me. I felt Him as if a real person was hugging me. I felt the Holy Spirit in the palms of my hands. I felt God burning in my heart. I held on to Him tightly and cried my eyes out some more. When we had finished hugging, I was afraid he was going to leave me. So I stood up and reached up to the heavens as high as I could. Even going to the point of standing on my tiptoes. I could feel Him pulling me up. He wanted me to come to heaven with Him. But he wouldn't take me yet. He told me my mission in life. Not in real words, but in actions and feeling in my heart. My mission was to bring Christ to other people. I was to help them understand as I now understand, and help them to realize that the reason for their emptiness, the reason THEY were only seeing a figure in the dark, was because they didn't have Him. I knew right then and there that my goal in life was to bring teens closer to Christ. Not necessarily through words, but through my own actions, and by gently nudging them in the right direction, and mostly, by explaining the deep love of Jesus Christ! I kissed Jesus' hands and he left. I focused on the presence of Him in the Blessed Sacrament, and kept my arms outstretched to Him at all times. For the rest of adoration I continued to cry, by myself and with Kelli, and was just so extremely happy. We laughed through our tears and wiped our tears and snot on my t-shirt I had just bought :-). When adoration was over I went to confession and then to a short small group. We walked over to our dorms. Kelli and I were completely silent and went to bed.

That moment. Those few hours completely changed my life. I no longer feel far from God...and when I start to feel the distance, all I do is go to confession and adoration, cry my eyes out again, and start all over. That is the amazing gift of God. He never ever gives up on us. He keeps letting us come back. He keeps forgiving us. I love Him So very much. He is mine and I am His!

Light As a Feather
By Alyssa Puckrin

Have you ever thought of a feather as part of something that guards you?  I never used to either, but my family began to after my sister had major brain surgery when she was 3 years old in June 2001.  My little sister, Teresa, has been through quite a lot in her almost 11 years of life.  Teresa was born prematurely on January 18, 1998.  She was diagnosed with kidney disease when she was only a few months old.  She currently only has one kidney that works.   She has had a feeding tube since the age of 4 months, her first one went down her throat, and the one she has now in her stomach.   When she was 3 years old, she was diagnosed with Chiari Malformation.  She had symptoms, such as bad headaches, for a long time before she was diagnosed.  Chiari Malformation is a disease where the brain tissue goes into the spinal column, and one can have it with or without the kink in your spinal column.  My sister had the kink in her spine, so in addition to moving her brain and shocking it back into place; they had to un-kink her spinal column.  Her doctor, Dr. Crone, is at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital.  (He is one of only a handful of doctors in the nation who perform this surgery, and he is a wonderful doctor.)  Teresa’s surgery was supposed to be in late June 2001.  However, her headaches became worse and more frequent, and she was having vision problems.  She had surgery in early June, at the time I was 7 years old. 

My parents missed my 1st grade graduation because of her surgery.  I was very upset that they did, and now I regret that, knowing that my sister may have died.  Since my parents weren’t there, however, I stayed with Bella London and the rest of the London family that last week of school, and I had a great time staying with them.  (They kept me busy to take my mind off of my sister’s surgery.)  Mrs. London took me to church the day of her surgery so I could pray for my sister!  I am grateful to them for the help they gave my family.  At my graduation, I had a wide array of aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents, since my mom and dad weren’t there.  My mother called the school and the school secretary told her all about my graduation!  My mom later told me she cried the entire time and has told me a mother should never have to choose between her children, she has said this many times when she has been somewhere with my sister because she was sick or in the hospital. 

Back in Cincinnati, during my sister’s surgery, my mom had a vision of the Praying Hands.  She knew Jesus was with her the whole time.  Three days after her surgery, my parents were giving her a wagon ride (because she was not allowed to walk) around the hospital and on the roof.  When they came back to her hospital room, they found a feather ornament on her bed.  My parents and my little sister, as well as the rest of my family, know it was left there by an angel.  My sister’s Guardian Angel.  It has a story on it, “The Guardian Angel Feather-The Guardian Angel Feather symbolizes God’s care for his people through the presence of angels.  It is written in Psalm 91:11…’For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.’” 

Now, whenever we see something with the Praying Hands, we often will buy it for her.  My mother cross-stitched Teresa a picture of the Praying Hands for her First Communion.   She has the Guardian Angel Feather hanging on her Christmas tree.  Every time we see it we remember all God has blessed our family with!